


In Which Foggy Nelson and Matt Murdock Inadvertently Adopt A Webslinger and His (Possibly) Crazy Roommate

by cosmicocean



Series: The Brotastic Adventures Of The Avengers And The Long Suffering Foggy Nelson [4]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, Foggy Nelson Kicks Ass, M/M, all adorable and shit, disgusting, matt and foggy are so gross you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 18:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8068849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicocean/pseuds/cosmicocean
Summary: Where there's cherry pie, Criminal Justice homework, and a kidnapping.





	

There’s a noise on Foggy and Matt’s balcony.

Strictly speaking, Foggy’s not supposed to investigate the sounds on the balcony, _especially_ when Matt’s out on patrol. Matt keeps insisting that Foggy should just hide in the bedroom and pretend to be asleep in the face of burglars. _Foggy_ keeps insisting that if people around here were doing the sensible thing, then Matt wouldn’t strap on a horned helmet at night to go run around with their friends that include a crazy archer and a guy called _Ant-Man._ They generally are at a stalemate on the subject.

Stalemate means, in this case of course, that Foggy grabs his baseball bat and trepidatiously moves into their living room.

There’s someone in red leaning against the window holding their side and for a moment Foggy’s stomach drops to his feet. Closer inspection makes him realize that there’s blue in there too, however, and then that it’s not the Daredevil suit, but the Spiderman one.

Foggy opens the window. “Sure hope you’re not just a really clever peeping tom.”

Spiderman snorts. “Not the last time I checked.”

His voice sounds younger than Foggy expected. “So, just curious, why are you here?”

“Uh, this is Matt’s place, right?”

Foggy’s wariness ratchets up a little. “Maybe.”

“Matt said I should come here. We were out together and I got clipped and he said I should go to the apartment he and his very forgiving and kind and wonderful boyfriend share. His exact words.”

“I bet they are.”

“I just.” Spiderman tugs his mask off and wipes his forehead with the same hand holding the mask. “I don’t feel super hot, dude.”

His face shocks Foggy. He’s young, so much younger than even his voice indicates.

“Are you twelve?” Foggy asks, appalled. “Are you serious? Holy shit, Spiderman is twelve and he’s bleeding on my fucking balcony.”

“I’m not actually-“

“Shut up and get in the apartment.”

“Yes, sir.”

Spiderman scampers into the window and Foggy closes it, shaking his head and muttering to himself.

“Fucking Spiderman’s fucking twelve, bleeding on my balcony-“

“I’m 19.”

“ _Nineteen._ Sweet God. Also please tell me you’re not wearing that suit with nothing underneath.”

“I mean. I have boxers?”

“Works for me.” Foggy hauls out the gigantic first aid kit he keeps in the Ottoman. “Strip.”

Spiderman colors slightly. “Uh, no offense, sir, but I don’t really know you-“

Foggy gives him his best Unimpressed Lawyer Face. “You want to get better?”

“Yessir.”

“Then take off your costume.”

“It’s a _uniform_.”

“ _Now._ ”

“Yessir.”

Spiderman takes his costume off to reveal a very skinny kid with a rather large bruise on his side. 

“Do you eat? Cause you should be eating.” Foggy studies the bruise. 

“I eat a lot. I just process it quickly.”

“Do you have a name? Because I can’t just keep calling you Spiderman, that’s gonna get real old real fast, especially since you seem to be a Spiderchild more than anything.”

“Uh.” He shuffles awkwardly. “I’m Peter.” 

“Nice to meet you, Peter.” Foggy gives him a soft, kind smile that seems to achieve its goal of making the kid relax. “I’m Foggy.”

Peter’s ribs aren’t too badly fucked up, but Foggy’s still not letting him leave the apartment, so he lets him text his roommate and when Matt gets home, he finds them eating coconut cake with the 1970s _Superman_ movie.

“It _always_ gets me when he turns back the world to save her, man,” Foggy says, shaking his head.

“Right?” Peter agrees. “It’s so romantic. Sup, Matt.”

“You seem better,” Matt observes dryly. Foggy’s learned to recognize Matt’s “dry but relieved” tone, though, so he isn’t overly concerned.

“I’m not letting him leave,” Foggy says. “We’re sleeping on the pull out couch tonight.” Matt and Foggy invested in a pull out couch after Foggy moved on because sometimes there’s an Avenger (usually Clint or Steve) sleeping on it after getting into a fight in a side alley.

“I don’t want to take up your-“

“That sucks.” Foggy takes a bite of cake. “You’re going up against two lawyers, dude, don’t even try.”

Peter wavers. “Are you sure?”

“Silk sheets cause of Mr. Sensitive, dude. You’ll love it.”

 

When Foggy and Matt wake up, Peter’s gone, with a hastily scrawled note that Foggy reads to Matt.

_Matt & Foggy-_

_Thanks for everything. You guys are kind of the best._

_Peter._

“He seemed like a good kid,” Foggy says mildly, folding the note up.

“I keep trying to get him to drop the work and focus more on his schooling,” Matt answers irritably. “He won’t have it.”

“Refuses to quit superheroing even though he’s been asked to…” Foggy says contemplatively, stroking his chin. “Hmmmm. Wonder who THAT reminds me of.”

Matt turns his scowl onto Foggy. “You haven’t asked me to quit in forever.”

“Stockholm syndrome is not the same as acquiescence.” Foggy kisses his cheek, which relaxes Matt’s face. “Now let me see your tie, you’ve done it crooked.”

“Well,” Matt says, straight-faced. “ _Eye_ ’d say _Eye_ have a pretty good excuse.”

Foggy gapes at Matt, who grins, proud of himself, the asshole.

“You know what, leave your damn tie like that, let Karen make fun of you.”

 

“Your tie’s crooked,” Karen observes when they walk in. “What are we working in here, a barn?”

“Ha,” Foggy says smugly. “Now you know not to be a punny asshole.”

“Blatantly untrue.”

“This was at our door when I opened up,” Karen continues, ignoring Matt and Foggy’s banter as usual. “I’m really hoping it’s not poisoned or anything.”

Matt sniffs the clumsily saran wrapped pie Karen’s holding up and shakes his head. “Nothing unusual there. Just cherry pie.”

Foggy takes the note and reads it out loud. “Sup, Nelson & Murdock! Heard that you took care of my boy Petey tonight. Don’t ask how I knew it was you, I just know these things. Don’t worry, either, not gonna leak your identity, I do some superheroing of my own so I get the deal. Enjoy the pie, Wade.”

“Who the hell is Wade?”

“Evidently Petey is ‘his boy’, whoever Petey is,” Karen says dryly. “Can we cut into it now? That looks good.”

The pie _is_ good. Foggy wanders around singing “she’s my cherry pie” for the rest of the day, pretty much only because it makes Matt yell “ _there better be no other cherry pies in your life!_ ”

 

“I talked to Peter about the mysterious Wade,” Matt says after he’s showered post jumping across the rooftops like he’s Batman or some shit. Sometimes after he comes back for the evening and he’s showered and eaten, he’ll lie down on the couch with his head in Foggy’s lap.

“Yeah?” Foggy cards his fingers through Matt’s hair. “And what can you tell me about aforementioned mysterious Wade?”

“Well, Peter sure doesn’t like being referred to as ‘his boy Petey’, that’s for damn sure.”

Foggy laughs. “I bet.”

“He’s Peter’s roommate. Sometimes he’s what Peter likes to define as ‘more antihero than anything else, really’, but most of the time he flicks Cheetos at Peter’s forehead cause he likes the sound they make when they bounce off.”

Foggy nods seriously. “Sounds like quite a guy.”

“Mmm.”

 

Peter stops by Foggy and Matt’s window one night, complete in Spiderman regalia.

“We have a door,” Foggy tells him placidly. “I know you superhero types forget this, but it’s true. It’s a very nice door, too.”

“Sorry.” Foggy can’t see Peter’s face but he sounds abashed. “I have a favor to ask you.”

“Oh god, does it involve stitches, because I’ve gotten good at that but I still don’t want to do it.”

“Nope. It involves homework?”

“…okay?”

“I’m taking a Criminal Justice class as an elective. I kinda need a hand with my homework. Can one of you maybe help me this week? If you can’t, it’s okay,” he adds quickly. “I get it, you’re all busy with the lawyer and the superheroing and all that, it’s totally fine, don’t worry about-“

“Come to the office during our lunch break tomorrow,” Foggy interrupts. “We’ll give you a hand.”

Peter’s shoulders sag. “Oh man, you’re the best.” He hesitates. “Hey, is it okay if my roommate comes along? I think he’d like to meet you guys.”

“Yeah, sure, why not.” 

“He’s, uh…” Peter scratches his head. “He doesn’t look like you or I do. He went through some shit. He’s kind of scarred up.”

“Fine by me.”

“I’m blind,” Matt says, ghosting up to Foggy’s shoulder. “I won’t be able to tell.”

Peter yelps and Foggy jumps. “Dude,” Foggy says. “I’m going to put a goddamn bell on you, I swear.”

“You should see him in the field,” Peter tells him. “I think he does it just to make me jump.”

“Probably. He’s an asshole. Also I don’t do any superheroing.”

Peter cocks his head. “I’ve heard stories from the Avengers, dude. I’m pretty sure you’re a superhero to all of us.”

Before Foggy can say anything, Peter disappears. Foggy stares out the window.

“He’s right, you know,” Matt murmurs, sliding his arms around Foggy. “You are a superhero.”

Foggy snorts. “Oh yeah? What would my superhero name be?”

Matt thinks about it. “The Caretaker,” he says finally. “Because you take care of all of us.” He leans their heads together. “You take care of me.”

And, well, Foggy can’t _not_ kiss him after that.

 

Peter shows up with Wade the next day. Peter’s right, Wade’s pretty scarred up, but honestly Foggy was imagining worse, so he doesn’t really care. Matt and Peter carefully go over his homework together, Matt patiently and quietly correcting Peter as he quizzes them. Foggy and Wade watch, eating sandwiches.

“That pie was pretty good,” Foggy tells Wade. Wade beams at him.

“Aw, thanks! Petey taught me, it’s his Aunt May’s recipe.”

“Don’t call me Petey,” Peter mumbles. “Okay, but what is the principle of legality and why is it important??”

Wade ignores him. “His Aunt May’s super nice. Kind of a badass.”

They settle into companionable silence, watching Matt and Peter. Foggy realizes pretty quickly that he recognizes how Wade looks at Peter. After all, it’s how he looks at Matt.

 

Wade and Foggy become weird kind of buddies.

Don’t get him wrong, Wade’s kind of a 100% of the time snark machine asshole. But there’s some depth there, and besides, Wade’s a _funny_ 100% of the time snark machine asshole.

“God, this is the best _Star Wars_ ,” Wade says reverentially, watching _A New Hope_ with Foggy and Peter. “No question.”

“No way,” Peter argues. “ _Empire_ , dude.”

“ _Bull_ shit, this is the movie that started it all.”

“ _Empire’s_ so much darker and deeper!”

“Darkness does not guarantee quality, Petey!”

“ _Quit calling me Petey.”_

 

One time Foggy finds Matt giving Peter a piggyback ride in a side alley in Hell’s Kitchen. They’re all still for a moment.

“I don’t want to know,” Foggy says finally.

“Good,” Peter answers. “I didn’t want to explain it.”

 

One time, Foggy and Wade go out drinking together while Peter and Matt are back at Matt and Foggy’s working on homework. Wade looks at Foggy blearily.

“He’s just the sun, y’know?” he slurs. “He’s just the sun, dude.”

Foggy knows who he’s talking about. “You ever- you ever gonna tell ‘im?”

Wade makes a pfft noise that goes on for a while. “Petey’s too bright.”

Foggy gets it. He barfs a little in a trash can.

 

Foggy visits Peter and Wade’s at one point. There’s absolutely no furniture.

“Where are your chairs?” Foggy asks. Peter scoffs.

“Chairs are for rich people.”

Foggy and Matt take the two to IKEA that weekend and help them pay for furniture. Peter hugs both of them and Wade awkwardly fist bumps them. Foggy knows it’s the hug equivalent. He’s only ever seen Wade hug Peter.

 

Time passes. Peter and Wade are over at Foggy and Matt’s often, watching movies, working on homework. Wade is evasive about what he does for superheroing, to the point where Foggy just gives up. It’s Wade’s business and he’ll tell him if he wants to, although Foggy has his suspicions.

“It feels like I’ve known you two forever,” Foggy remarks at one point to Wade.

“Probably because the author wants to get this story finished quickly so she can get to the fifth story about the proposal,” Wade answers.

“I have absolutely no idea what any of those words strung together meant.”

“They never do, buddy. They never do.”

 

Matt’s on a mission with the Avengers when Wade bangs on their door frantically. Foggy opens it up.

“Peter’s been kidnapped,” he says desperately. “I can’t find Matt or the Avengers. I need help. I think it’s like twenty guys.”

Foggy stares at Wade, then sighs. “Would you like to know a secret?”

 

Because here’s the thing: Foggy runs with the Avengers a lot.

And this doesn’t mean that he just knows how to patch people up (he does) or how to bail Avengers out of jail (that too). It means he’s asked them, on the down-low, how to defend himself. It means Natasha’s taught him how to shoot, Clint’s taught him some hand to hand, Tony and Steve have taught him how to box. 

He’s never told Matt. Matt would worry. But it means that when a frightened college kid shows up at his door needing to retrieve a superhero… well. It means things are a little easier.

 

“I’m gonna need a gun,” Foggy tells Wade. Wade grins, bitter and bleak. 

“Oh, I got those.”

 

“I fucking knew it,” Foggy says when he sees Wade suiting up in the Deadpool costume.

“I didn’t want you to judge me for being the Merc with the Mouth.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Foggy checks his gun. “Let’s go get your boy.”

 

The hard part is not shooting the guys in the kneecaps (“No killing,” Foggy insists, and Wade rolls his eyes and sighs theatrically. “ _Fine_.”). It’s not finding Peter, tied to a chair but costume still on. Wade yanks the mask off once he’s sure that no one but Foggy and himself can see.

“Petey?” he whispers. “Petey, are you okay?” Foggy unties him and Peter blinks hazily up at Wade.

“Wade?” he mumbles. “You got me.”

“Yeah, Petey.” He cracks a weak smile. “Couldn’t leave my boy behind now, could I?”

It’s not even the awkwardness Foggy feels when Peter yanks a surprised Wade down for a kiss.

No, it’s none of those things. The hard part is when the Avengers and Matt show up.

Foggy weakly waves his hand, then remembers he's holding a gun and gingerly puts it on the ground.

“Hi, guys.”

“Did you do all this, _malyutka?_ ” Natasha asks approvingly, looking around. “Not bad. We’ll take them in, don’t worry.”

Foggy is determinedly avoiding Matt’s face, certain that he’s angry. Matt approaches him and gently directs his face towards his.

“Are you hurt?”

“Couple guys got a punch in. Wasn’t too bad.”

“Good.”

“Kinda surprised you’re not freaking out.”

Matt shrugs awkwardly. Foggy studies his face and suddenly bursts out laughing.

“Oh my god, you think it’s hot.”

“I do _not_.”

“You _do_ , you think it’s hot that I can take down a bunch of dudes with just a gun and my fists.”

Matt shuffles. “Shut up.”

“Damn, Nelson,” Clint observes approvingly. “Getting all the action.”

“I’m a magnet for action,” Foggy deadpans.

“You’re a magnet for _something,_ all right.”

 

They get a cherry pie and a thank you note later that week.

**Author's Note:**

> I moved Peter and Wade's ages to college age for both of them so it wouldn't be weird with the age gap between the two of them the way they are in the movies right now.
> 
> I know I could have fleshed out Peter and Wade a little better, I'm sorry, I genuinely couldn't think of anything for their characters except what I wrote.
> 
> I've got big plans for the next installment! Stay tuned. :)


End file.
